Archive for August, 2009

Perfect Day

Posted: August 31, 2009 in Life, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Perfect Day…what comes into your mind when you hear those words? Lou Reed,probably…hopefully,because it is a classic song.

“Oh it’s such a perfect day…..I’m glad I spent it with you.”

It may just be me,but that song has always depressed me….today may have been a “perfect day”…but what about the future?

Today may have been perfect…but tomorrow won’t be…we’re just putting a brave face on things.

Hmmm….always looking to the future,me….I can never just “live in the moment.”

I can’t “let myself go” as the old dears at the granny party tried to make me do.

Is it even possible to just enjoy “the moment?” To have fun for fun’s sake? I suppose you can if you’re not a miserable old bugger like me…but I live in hope of experiencing a Perfect Day,perhaps even with someone else.

I can think of someone I would like to have a Perfect Day with…more of that later. 😉

But first,with a little help from my friends,a recreation of the BBC’s (admittedly schmaltzy) multi-celeb version of Perfect Day in blog form.—–By Wyn

So…a blog with the theme of “perfect day”. I thought about this for a while and after an initial blast of Lou Reeds song;

Oh it’s such a perfect day, I’m glad I spent it with you.”

in this instance a perfect day being one spent with someone who means a lot to him (I’m ignoring the ideas it’s about his drug use). I started to move onto other thoughts about what a perfect day means to me.

I don’t happen to have a special someone in my life at the moment but don’t feel that this stops me from being able to enjoy a “perfect day”.

So I thought some more….

Now, hoping I don’t sound too clichéd, actually I feel that every day in life (even the really sh***y ones) have some aspects of perfection about them. Now before you think “yeah, yeah she’s obviously had an easy time of life” I haven’t. Life has dealt me quite a lot of “challenging times” but every day has taught me something (when I’ve gotten over the hysteria or intense weeping!). There is something beautiful and perfect in everyday and embracing that helps me realise EVERY day is perfect.——By Emma

Perfect day(for Emyr’s 50TH! oldie :P):
What exactly is a perfect day?Is it when its sunny and cool, or is it when rain is hammering down and you get to spend quality time with your family because your to scared to go outdoors? Is a perfect day like that song by all the singers suggest.Is it like the video to that song?Is it none of these things?something completely different maybe?
Want to know what I think? Course you don’t. But I’m going to tell you anyway.

A perfect day is a mix of all the things I previously said.A perfect day is where there is a drizzle of rain in the morning before you go out to see your mates and when you do go out the sun shines but the early morning drizzle helps keep the air cool and fresh. A perfect day is spending time with the people you love and care about,Just talking,Like most of us have forgotten to do.And a perfect day is going out and enjoying life whilst you can. Live for today work for tomorrow 😀    By Shanna

I think I have probably had perfect days which may have seemed pretty ordinary at the time and were certainly not pre-planned to be anything particularly special and I think this is probably the key to their specialness – the lack of planning and expectation and the sense of simply going with the flow of life. For example one of the nicest days I can remember was spent on Dartmoor walking with my other half. We got up in the morning, decided it was a good day for a hike, packed a very simple picnic and off we went. The day was spent admiring the natural beauty on our doorstep and spending real quality time with each other and talking to each other about real stuff, not whether we needed milk or if the bins had been put out but real conversation that everyday life quite often precludes. But on the other hand, days that you might expect to be perfect, like your wedding day for example are often so well planned or so anticipated that the real beauty of life and the joy of spontaneity and the unknown are lost. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my wedding day and it is one of the most memorable in my life but it was also a bit stressful (being centre of attention is not my thing!) and as we had been thinking about, planning and living it for months in advance in the end it could never have been everything we expected or envisaged.
So, what am I trying to say here? I don’t know, I probably shouldn’t be allowed to witter on longer than 140 characters but I guess the gist of my message is that we shouldn’t plan our lives too much, shouldn’t worry too much about the future and make sure we spend quality time with the ones we care about. If we do this we might all just have perfect days more often.—– By Lisa

It’s been a long, hard night’s work. You’ve been at it since sunset, and now the sun is rising again. 12 hours is a long time without a break. As the sky greys, you’re impossibly tired and wondering how this next day is going to pan out, whether you’re going to make it through. But then, in a heartbeat, everything changes. In one breath the day becomes absurdly magical. It only takes one tell-tale sound for you to know you you’ve made it. One cry. And at the end of that cry you’re looking at a brand new person. And that tiny brand new person is looking right back at you. This is their first day, and you know you’re going to do your damnedest to make it perfect.—– By Beccy

My perfect day is simple… Me and my best friend. We do not get to meet as much sadly because of how life gets busy, but every time we meet and make a day out of it you have no idea where we shall end up and how much fun we shall have! From going to Stonehenge, Balloon Festival, Banksy, to just random strolls around London, taking pictures, yapping away, or just discussing life and its philosophies over a cuppa! This is my idea of a perfect day… a perfect day with my best friend :)—– By Sami
I think it’s psychologically impossible to have a perfect day on a Monday.
The invisible Monday monkeys see to that, that’s why were all grumpy on a Monday, little did you know that the Monday monkeys are constantly annoying us.

Having a perfect day on a Tuesday is possible but uncool, bit like marrying someone called Eric Winterbottom.

Wednesday is the piggy, I’d be much happier having a good day on Wednesday simply because the perfect day would probably be winning the lottery, and thus mid-week would be a perfect time to tell people that “I’m never coming back to work”, “stick it up your trumpet”, and “sorry I actually think you look like a fool!”

I’ll have two days then to get ready for the weekend. Perfect!

Oh Friday and Saturday too late! Sunday sleeping!—–By Dean


The day would start early, with me waking from a dream where I had been flying and swooping over beaches and mountains. I’d be in a great mood, not tired and not hungry, so I wouldn’t have to waste time with breakfast. I wouldn’t have to mess around having a shower, as I’d already be fragrant and clean, with perfect make up and I’d have long hair, tied in a pony tail.
My Mum would turn up to feed the animals and stay with them and, once I’d kissed her on the cheek, I’d teleport out of there. There would be portals in all my close Twitter friends’ houses and I’d go round to each of them and gather them up with me for a picnic. They would all be ready, so I wouldn’t have to wait.
We’d arrive under a willow tree, by a stream with a bridge over it and there would be hampers of food. I wouldn’t have to eat a sandwich first before my ice cream…as I’m now grown up and can do what I want. There would be junk food for everyone but no alcohol…we’d just be on a natural high.
Then, across the bridge would come loads of different animals of all species..wild ones, domesticated ones etc. They would all be tame, and I’d cuddle them and hold them, and look into their eyes to see what I could learn.
It would now be afternoon and everyone would teleport back to their homes. When I got to my house my animals would come to greet me and there would also be Basil, my guinea pig who died a few weeks ago. I’d pick him up and kiss his little face and smell his belly and tell him how much I’ve missed him. I’d feed him his favourite veggies and never let him go.
All afternoon I would be sitting on the floor with my pets and watching musicals that I’d sing along to…especially ones with cockney songs in. I’d then watch a few episodes of Worzel Gummidge.
Towards early evening, my clothes would change into something sexy but classy, just before my favourite man from Twitter teleported in. We would have a candlelit dinner at the table, but it would be a take away and there’d be plenty of tea and lemonade. We’d then go through to the living room and relax on the sofa to watch classic episodes of Doctor Who, and maybe also a really good sci-fi film.
Just before midnight we would go outside and lie on the trampoline watching the stars and talking about the Universe…there would be loads of shooting stars and it would be magical. He’d kiss me very gently and romantic music would suddenly appear in the background, like it does in the films …but then he’d have to go home.
Still smiling I would come in, go to bed and snuggle with all my animals (especially Basil) and fall asleep to dream about my Twitter crush and how happy I am.—–By Josi
It’s me again.
I’ve finally thought about my idea of a “perfect day”…it would be to make someone else have a Perfect Day.To make someone else happy.I’m far too old and miserable to enjoy myself….if I can bring joy into someone’s life,my son for example,then everyday will be perfect.
I would like to thank everyone who contributed to this blog.I hope you enjoyed it. :)——By Wyn


…so said Sir Michael Caine at the end of the cinematic masterpiece,The Italian Job.

Last night,I had a great idea….or a least it seemed like a great idea at the time–many people’s famous last words.

Here are the details.

I am about to launch my 50th blog update upon an unsuspecting world,and because,with me,it’s all about the numbers,I thought it would be a great idea (those words again) to celebrate this milestone by getting as many different bloggers/tweeters/aspiring authors to write about 150-200 words on a certain subject which I will compile into one blog—the aforementioned 50th.

But don’t worry…it’s not all about me….even though it should be 😉

It’s my way of having a day off doing something a little different.I think it will be interesting to have several different views on one particular subject….and that subject is…”Perfect Day.”

Whatever that means to you.

If you want to contribute,you can write your piece in the comments box for this post,or you can email it to ewl1971@googlemail.com so I have all the mini-blogs in one place.Keep them to about 200 words,so I can put about 10 of them in without the whole thing turning into War&Peace.To give you an idea,so far this is 200 words.

If I get enough I might do another one….if I don’t get any,I’ll probably cry.

There’s no big rush,but I would like to post the finished blog by about Tuesday.

Make me proud….I look forward to reading your work.

Thank you.

The Accidental Librarian

Posted: August 28, 2009 in Life
Tags: , ,

trinity-college-library-dubToday,I accidentally found myself in my local library.

This came as a bit of a shock to me as I try to avoid it if at all possible.It’s not that I don’t like libraries,I love them…a big building full of books is almost orgasmically wonderful.It’s just that my local is a bit rubbis…it always seems to have the same books on the racks.They never have anything new in…I couldn’t see a single Harry Potter,but there were a few well-worn tomes on how to maintain a 1970s Ford Capri and a guide to decimalisation.

I kid you not…there are books I remember from 20 years ago.

Most intriguing of all was a section entitled “Print Bras.”

Now before you get excited at the prospect of borrowing ladies foundation garments with stories written on them,it’s actually Welsh for “large print.” My mother is single-handedly keeping the large-print business going,she’s read them all.All the crime ones.That’s all she reads…she’s an expert on them.

Maybe westerns are more your thing? You would be well-served by my local,there is a spin-rack devoted to well-thumbed paperbacks with lurid titles like “Gutshot At Gobblers’ Gulch” …. writing them is somebody’s job,you know.Similarly Mills & Boon,which have also played a part in keeping libraries open.It is  mind-boggling to wonder how many times they have been read.How many times have the words “he crushed her hot,panting body in his manly arms” been read by sex-starved grannies?

I’ve never really liked reading books from the library…you never really know where they’ve been.

Imagine borrowing The Joy Of Sex,rushing home to “study” the best bits,only to find the pages stuck together.

Not good.

Today,I was in the company of the aforementioned Mother Unit,who always gets half a dozen large print whoppers so needs me to carry them home.I left her in the “gory murders” section and went to peruse the Sci-fi section…they had a Torchwood book…things were looking up.I am not a member of the library anymore,but this was still exciting.

Now I was some feet away from my mother,but this fact seemed to elude the old girl,because she was still talking to me..I could still hear her,but that’s not the point…she looked like a loony.I live in Carmarthen….believe me,I know my loonies.I gently put her straight.To some people,holding a conversation over a 12ft gap may be normal,but I don’t like all and sundry knowing my business…I’m like that.I continued my perusement…only to be distracted by an old gentleman…who was talking to himself….or quite possibly talking to the books.

He seemed happy though.

The library has had a makeover since I was there last.Flat-screen telly,computers with interwebs access (they’ve had this for awhile,actually) and DVDs by the ton.I remember borrowing cassettes and LPs back in the day…all gone now.Gone also is the reading area where oldies would read the papers….rather sad that.But it was time it joined the modern world,although I didn’t ask about the potential existence of wi-fi access…I didn’t want to confuse the staff.

Despite all this,today’s visit was something of a revelation.I am seriously considering joining up again.I spotted a few nuggets among the ancient manuscripts that may be worth a crafty borrow…

Because,you know,joining a library…it’s sooo rock’n’roll…..but that’s my life….on the edge.

Inspection!!!

Posted: August 27, 2009 in Life, Uncategorized

home_inspection_magnifying_hg_whtIt’s that time again…the landlord is coming round to “inspect” the property.

This is dire news…it means I have to get the hoover out,and I’m not even sure what it looks like.There is a sort of tubey thing in the kitchen (at least I think that’s what the room is called),but I can’t be 100%.

I’m joking of course…I am very domesticated.I even wash-up…when the pile gets too high and I can’t find a clean spoon to stir my tea.

So today I have been a-hoovering and a-sweeping and vigorously a-dusting in preparation for the old boy’s visit tomorrow…although I won’t be here when he comes,he just lets himself in,likewise the neighbour’s house which he also owns and rents out.I know you may be thinking that it’s not legal for him to let himself in,but I trust him and he’s cut me a lot of slack over the years concerning my congenital inability to work a duster.

This is NOT my landlord...

This is NOT my landlord...

My landlord is also the living image of Uncle Albert from Only Fools & Horses,but with a smaller beard.He even walks and talks like him…funny that.He’s even got the hat (see pic.)

I am slightly miffed at this visit though….he was only here a couple of months back,which necessitated a much more large scale clean from top to bottom.This enterprise became the stuff of Twitter legend.

My mother I scrubbed the kitchen until it gleamed…several colonies of bacteria were harmed in the process. (Only joking,ladies…my kitchen is and always has been a spotless,romantic environment—perfect for a candlelight takeaway dinner.) I even cleaned the cooker…the outside obviously…I don’t think I’ve EVER used the inside.

I’m not much of a cook.

Or a housekeeper it seems.

I don’t mind hoovering,but dusting is right up there on my list of least favourite things to do.

I mean…there’s just so much of it,and it seems to breed and multiply five minutes after you just Pledge’d it.I am convinced that a person could spend their entire life just keeping a house permanently dust-free.There’s even a layer of it on the keyboard I’m using to type this masterpiece…but you’d think with all the waffling I do it would be spotless.

...but this very well could be.

...but this very well could be.

But of course dust is mainly made up of bits of dead skin and other yucky human bits…so while you read this,just remember that I’ve put a bit of myself into it.

Abyssinia!

Next episode-I have a nervous breakdown whilst attempting to change a duvet cover…(WHY is that so difficult??)

The divinely awful Davina....

The divinely awful Davina....

…….the time has come for you to close your doors forever. (Is that a mixed metaphor?)

Well,not quite yet,unfortunately.

Big Brother is to be axed after one final series next year, Channel 4 has confirmed,and there will also be another Celebrity Big Brother before the chop comes.Apparently ratings have plummeted for the new series,even though it has been a big earner for Channel 4 over the years…and I suppose it has been its flagship show…let’s face it,can you name any other C4 programmes?

Brookside!!

(Oh no, that’s finished…)

Host Davina McCall wants to take up “serious acting.”

I want to sell my television.

Although,to be fair on the old girl, I haven’t always hated Davina…I thought she was great on MTV Europe back in the day.

I think it’s a combination of BB and that bloody awful hair advert she does….but I digress.

This is the official statement from Channel 4 on the axeing-

–“Channel 4 said the move would lead to “the most significant creative transformation” in its history by freeing up 200 hours of peak time on the station and digital channel E4.

It will lead to a complete review of content at the cash-strapped broadcaster which will divert much of the BB costs to new programmes.

Channel 4’s director of television Kevin Lygo said: “The significant sums that have been committed to Big Brother in the past should now be available to boost budgets in genres, such as drama, that have had to be cut back sharply during the downturn.”–

(200 hours of television?  That’s like 8 and a bit continuous days of watching Britain’s saddest freaks and losers beg for fame by debasing themselves on national telly…but I suppose if they weren’t doing this they might be driving your taxi-a scary thought.)

–“Since its launch in 2000, Big Brother has been one of the UK’s biggest TV talking points.

From the expulsion of “Nasty” Nick Bateman during the first series to the racism and bullying rows which engulfed Celebrity Big Brother in 2007, it has generated countless headlines.

It has also made stars of contestants – most notably the late Jade Goody.

Others who have gone on to capitalise on the career boost of BB have been Kate Lawler, who went on to become a TV and radio presenter, and Craig Phillips – the first winner – who became a TV handyman.”–

(Well…I’ve heard of Jade Goody…but if anyone could put me straight on who the hell “Kate Lawler” & “Craig Phillips” are then I wouldn’t be very grateful.)

–“Average viewing figures have fallen from highs of more than five million to roughly two million for this series.

Channel 4 said it had already started to allocate an extra £20m from the money which has been freed up to pump into drama for C4 and E4 from 2011.”–

(£20 million? For television shows?  These people throw around huge sums of cash like it’s Monopoly money…just think what charities could do with that.)

I am proud to say that I have never watched a single minute of Big Brother,regular or “Celebrity,” but I accept its place in TV history.10 years is all any show can expect to run.It’s not the idea of BB that I am against,it’s what they do with it,combined with our celebrity-loving society.What could have been an interesting social experiment turned into a kind of TV jobcentre for genetic mistakes.

And they didn’t do it properly…may I present my idea for Big Brother 2.0….loads of sad twats in a house,under constant surveillance…except… they don’t know it.

Think The Truman Show….this way,nobody acts up to the camera and we get genuine reactions.

I’m thinking of pitching it to the BBC…they’ve got more money than sense…

Next time—- The skin jumps opposite the impersonal convenience.

Getting married?

Want the music to be provided by someone better than your Aunty after 15 Drambuie & Cokes?

Well here’s the price-list!

1. The Rolling Stones – up to £5 million (they’d have to be on tour at the time of your bash,though)

2. Sir Elton John – up to £2 million (he donates it to charity)

– Kylie Minogue – up to £2 million (bargain)

4. Christina Aguilera – up to £1.5 million (hmmm..possibly)

5. George Michael – £1.3 million (very reasonable)

6. Amy Winehouse – £1 million (you must be joking…she’d polish off all the booze)

– Sir Paul McCartney – £1 million ( I wonder if he’d throw in Ringo as well)

– Leona Lewis – £1 million (you is having a laugh)

– Jennifer Lopez – £1 million (does anyone know any of her songs?)

10. Barry Manilow – £750,000 (is he still alive?)

11. Rod Stewart – £600,000 (he’d put on a good show)

12. Duran Duran – £500,000 (BARGAIN!….I’d be prepared to get married just to have them at my wedding!!)

Although,for the record,if I ever get married,I would want Status Quo to perform…I reckon they’d do it for 100 quid and a crate of Brown Ale…so if there are any single young females out there who are also Quo fans,you know what to do 😉

THE QUO-'nuff said.

THE QUO-'nuff said.

 

 

…you would ask for a bigger instrument.”

Or so read a spam email I received over the weekend.

Well…I suppose you would,wouldn’t you…it’s your God-given right to demand a bigger instrument.

Warning…I may get a bit random here.

Anyway….how are you all since I was here last?

Nothing much blogworthy happened at the weekend…my son stayed after his holiday,and we had a fun-filled,cup-

A highly dangerous animal...holding a snake (My son btw)

A highly dangerous animal...holding a snake (My son btw)

a-soup fuelled video-game and Scrabble fest.He brought me a present from Spain…a photo of him holding a whacking great snake.I admire his bravery,because it was one of those things where people sell photos of tourists with various animals…you’re walking along then someone plonks Hissing Sid on your shoulder and asks you for 20 euros.He’s smiling in the photo but I would have crapped myself.

His mother and step-father came to pick him up yesterday.

How can I describe my son’s mother…think of a blonde twiglet in high heels.

She is a little on the “un-fat” side,what my mother would call a “stick-insect.” She is something of a pin-up among my son’s friends.I still fancy her,if I’m honest…but she’s not the easiest person to live with,so I probably won’t be sending her naughty texts anytime soon suggesting a reconciliation.

It’s her 40th birthday next month,and she is arranging a bit of knees-up.It’s also her non-identical twin-sister’s 40th birthday on EXACTLY the same date…how inconsiderate of her.(Ha ha) Anyway,I suggested they have a joint do and invite their parents and I could get my suit out of mothballs and all that.

Trouble is…the sisters aren’t actually speaking,and haven’t been for some considerable time.My son’s mother refers to her sister as “SHE” at all times (putting a lifetime of resentment into the word),and has always felt that she is not as good as her.They’ve never really got on…it’s all rather sad,and not something I want to get involved in,because I don’t know all the details,and it isn’t really affecting my son at all.I hope they will work it out in the end,but if I know my son’s mother at all,it probably won’t.

—————————————————————————————————————————————————————–

MadHatterI’m currently reading Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland…call me a miserable old cynic,but it isn’t as good as I’d expected it to be.It’s one of those books that everyone calls a classic but have never actually read,like Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four…now that is a classic that lives up to its hype.(I should know,I’ve read it five times.)

I’m like that with “classic” books…I thought Catcher In The Rye was an atrocious book,but some people,especially the Americans,regard it as some kind of Bible.

The Lord Of The Rings was a reading experience that can only be described as painful…I forced myself to finish The Fellowship of the Ring but chickened out of reading the other two books.

I could name others…Dracula,Dune….when I started reading London Fields by Martin Amis,I lost the will to live…that book is like having a chimpanzee with bowel trouble sitting on your head,continually flicking your ears.

Here,for your delectation,is a list of my Top 10 Books-perfect desert island reading…

  1. Everything by George Orwell (esp. Nineteen Eighty-Four/Down And Out In Paris & London)
  2. Everything by Philip K.Dick (esp. Martian Time-Slip/A Scanner Darkly)
  3. That’s probably more than 10,but never mind…it’s my list…
  4. The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster (nuttier than squirrel doo-doo)
  5. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (The story of Patrick Bateman..played by Christian Bale in the film-’nuff said)
  6. The Forever War by Joe Haldeman (first line-“Tonight we’re going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.”)
  7. Childhood’s End by Arthur C.Clarke (sci-fi at its best)
  8. Crash by J.G.Ballard (read all of his books too)
  9. The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien (an Irish comic genius)
  10. Absolutely everything ever written by Robert Rankin…even his shopping lists

That’s it.

If anybody wants to borrow any of these books,let me know. 😉

My Bad-Hair Life

Posted: August 20, 2009 in Life, Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

badHairDayIt’s haircut time again.

Simple enough chore for most people….but most people don’t have my hair.

I have always had crap hair…although you may think that having incredibly strong,thick and fast growing hair is a blessing.

It is not.

bad-hair-day-indeedThis is probably the reason I never had a girlfriend in school….they were too ashamed to be seen with me.

(Well that,and the fact that I was a speccy,spotty,runty little shortarse.)

I was in secondary school for seven years…never had a decent hairdo during any of them.

Grannies (see, they couldn’t get enough of me,even then) would come up to me and compliment me on my “lovely curls.”

I should have shaved the whole bloody lot off at the age of 10.

In the words of the female of the species throughout time-

I can’t do a thing with it.

When it grows,it’s totally unmanageable…I have to wash it everyday just to be able to wrestle it into some semblance of tidiness.

And I think,as I get older,it’s getting worse….it seems like I was only in the barber’s a fortnight ago,and he filled two binbags with my locks then.I used to always have a Grade 1 buzz-cut….I,like,so totally rocked that look for a while.No more bad hair days…no more scrapping with the hairbrush at 8am…and my grey bits showed up more so I looked a bit George Clooney-ish (I have the same birthday with him,fact fans.)

Then I got bored of it.But….it takes longer for the hair to recover from that so I’d look a pillock again for ages as my barnet tried to work out what the hell was going on.I no longer have a discernible “style”….as long as I look vaguely human when I leave the house it’s fine by me.

My son has inherited his mother’s long,straight blonde hair….the jammy bugger….although he hates it,but he doesn’t know how lucky he is.In a few years time he’ll be rocking the floppy-haired,emo-look that is so popular these days and probably be dripping with honeys,while I’ll be looking like Amy Winehouse.

I’ve decided…I’ll just have a normal trim this time,and see what happens…if it’s all over the place after a week,then it’s Phil Mitchell-time again.


llanfair

A very silly name

Last weekend,I finally broached the subject of my annoying nomenclature with the Mother Unit.

I don’t think it went down too well.

After all,she must have thought it was a very good idea at the time to give me a rubbish name.Every time anyone says my name,but especially when they pronounce it properly (like my mother) ,I feel like I’m 8 years old.Because of my name I have not been taken seriously throughout my entire life.

Welsh people hear my name and immediately think…awww bless.”Emyr” is not a name you give to someone you want or expect to do well in life.

My mother suggested I call myself by my middle name-“Wyn.” That’s not even a proper name…how many “Wyns” do you know?

I have seriously considered changing it officially…but change it to what?

Ed Balls?

Michael Hunt?

Aristotle Bonaventure?

I once had a relationship with a girl from Sunderland,called Lisa…I soon realised that the only chance I had of getting my leg over was to call myself Wyn.When she came to stay,obviously she called me Wyn…which caused my old mum to look at her as if she were mad….but there was no way she would have been able to get her tongue around “Emyr.”

Although I got my tongue around Lisa quite a few times.

Sorry.

I think until I can decide on a new name,or the whole world turns Welsh,whichever comes soonest,I shall be known as Wyn to all those non-Taffies out there….well,the ones who actually want to know what my name is…

I still have a nagging doubt about changing my name,though…it’s that my proper name,crap as it is,is SO ingrained in my psyche,that I will be embarrassed to tell people my name even after it’s changed.

Even if it’s John Smith….or Arthur Windbag-Fitzherbert-Thornycroft.

As you may have gathered,I’m quite messed up about this….I need therapy.

Or perhaps a nice cup of tea.