Posts Tagged ‘Alice In Wonderland’

First of all,let me say that I have never been a big fan of 3D,and Tim Burton’s Alice In Wonderland does nothing to change that view.The viewer is constantly bombarded with flying objects and weird insects buzzing,seemingly,within inches of your face to show off the 3D effect,none of which add anything to the story.Yes,the effect works-but to the obvious detriment of the film.

I’m sorry to say,this film is a shambles,and unworthy of Tim Burton.

The film is a sequel of sorts to the original Alice In Wonderland story,not a faithful adaptation of it,and at times veers dangerously into Lord Of The Rings/Chronicles of Narnia territory,with a big climactic battle scene and lots of talk about heroes and destiny.Think of it as a kind of mash-up of Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass,with particular emphasis on the Jabberwocky poem in the latter.The film builds up to the final battle between (sort-of) good and evil where Alice fulfills her destiny by slaying the Jabberwocky with,as I’m sure you know,the Vorpal Blade.I’m not entirely sure that bit was in the book,but that doesn’t stop Tim Burton.

Starring Mia Wasikowska as a 19 year-old Alice,a rebellious teenager who remembers nothing about her previous visit to Wonderland,the story takes place in a drastically changed world under the despotic rule of the bulbous-headed Red Queen,played wonderfully by Helena Bonham-Carter-the best performance in the entire movie.Wasikowska is also very good as Alice,and these two performances just about manage to save the film from being a complete disaster.Johnny Depp on the other hand is less impressive,playing The Mad Hatter in such a way that one feels any actor could have been cast in the role.His name is undoubtedly still a big draw,but the most ardent Depp fans may be disappointed.Elsewhere,Stephen Fry voices the Cheshire Cat and Matt Lucas plays both Tweedledum & Tweedledee;I was pleasantly surprised (and relieved) that both actors’ performances rise above the dreaded tag of “stunt-casting.”

If I had to make a comparison with this film and another,I would say Return To Oz,the notorious sequel to Wizard Of Oz which has become famous for being a “bit wrong,” where Oz has gone to the dogs and Dorothy gets a dose of ECT.Although this is a children’s film,younger sprogs may find themselves “touching cloth” at certain moments especially when the Bandersnatch and Jabberwocky are on screen.Unless I needed to polish my 3D specs,this is a very dark film in both tone and visuals.

All in all,I was disappointed with this film….despite there being a lot on screen to catch the eye,there is very little meat in this sandwich.3D gimmicks,a thin story and a lacklustre performance from Johnny Depp spoil what could have been a triumph for Tim Burton.Whether the 2D version would be any better is a question that I am not in any particular hurry to answer.



…you would ask for a bigger instrument.”

Or so read a spam email I received over the weekend.

Well…I suppose you would,wouldn’t you…it’s your God-given right to demand a bigger instrument.

Warning…I may get a bit random here.

Anyway….how are you all since I was here last?

Nothing much blogworthy happened at the weekend…my son stayed after his holiday,and we had a fun-filled,cup-

A highly dangerous animal...holding a snake (My son btw)

A highly dangerous animal...holding a snake (My son btw)

a-soup fuelled video-game and Scrabble fest.He brought me a present from Spain…a photo of him holding a whacking great snake.I admire his bravery,because it was one of those things where people sell photos of tourists with various animals…you’re walking along then someone plonks Hissing Sid on your shoulder and asks you for 20 euros.He’s smiling in the photo but I would have crapped myself.

His mother and step-father came to pick him up yesterday.

How can I describe my son’s mother…think of a blonde twiglet in high heels.

She is a little on the “un-fat” side,what my mother would call a “stick-insect.” She is something of a pin-up among my son’s friends.I still fancy her,if I’m honest…but she’s not the easiest person to live with,so I probably won’t be sending her naughty texts anytime soon suggesting a reconciliation.

It’s her 40th birthday next month,and she is arranging a bit of knees-up.It’s also her non-identical twin-sister’s 40th birthday on EXACTLY the same date…how inconsiderate of her.(Ha ha) Anyway,I suggested they have a joint do and invite their parents and I could get my suit out of mothballs and all that.

Trouble is…the sisters aren’t actually speaking,and haven’t been for some considerable time.My son’s mother refers to her sister as “SHE” at all times (putting a lifetime of resentment into the word),and has always felt that she is not as good as her.They’ve never really got on…it’s all rather sad,and not something I want to get involved in,because I don’t know all the details,and it isn’t really affecting my son at all.I hope they will work it out in the end,but if I know my son’s mother at all,it probably won’t.


MadHatterI’m currently reading Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland…call me a miserable old cynic,but it isn’t as good as I’d expected it to be.It’s one of those books that everyone calls a classic but have never actually read,like Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four…now that is a classic that lives up to its hype.(I should know,I’ve read it five times.)

I’m like that with “classic” books…I thought Catcher In The Rye was an atrocious book,but some people,especially the Americans,regard it as some kind of Bible.

The Lord Of The Rings was a reading experience that can only be described as painful…I forced myself to finish The Fellowship of the Ring but chickened out of reading the other two books.

I could name others…Dracula,Dune….when I started reading London Fields by Martin Amis,I lost the will to live…that book is like having a chimpanzee with bowel trouble sitting on your head,continually flicking your ears.

Here,for your delectation,is a list of my Top 10 Books-perfect desert island reading…

  1. Everything by George Orwell (esp. Nineteen Eighty-Four/Down And Out In Paris & London)
  2. Everything by Philip K.Dick (esp. Martian Time-Slip/A Scanner Darkly)
  3. That’s probably more than 10,but never mind…it’s my list…
  4. The New York Trilogy by Paul Auster (nuttier than squirrel doo-doo)
  5. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis (The story of Patrick Bateman..played by Christian Bale in the film-’nuff said)
  6. The Forever War by Joe Haldeman (first line-“Tonight we’re going to show you eight silent ways to kill a man.”)
  7. Childhood’s End by Arthur C.Clarke (sci-fi at its best)
  8. Crash by J.G.Ballard (read all of his books too)
  9. The Third Policeman by Flann O’Brien (an Irish comic genius)
  10. Absolutely everything ever written by Robert Rankin…even his shopping lists

That’s it.

If anybody wants to borrow any of these books,let me know. 😉