Posts Tagged ‘emo’

These are just some of the films that were on telly all the time when I was a nipper–I haven’t seen them since…’s like they’ve disappeared off the face of the Earth…

1.Zoltan,Hound of Dracula

Vampire dog eats unsuspecting American campers…what’s not to like?


Starring James Stewart,this is the one about the bloke with the imaginary friend in the shape of a 6-foot rabbit,funnily enough called Harvey.I saw it once during the 70s,and that was my lot.Honestly….when was the last time you ever saw or heard this film even being mentioned?? (It’s a terrible film,anyway…but well,it’s the principle of the thing…..)

3.Harold & Maude

Bud Cort plays Harold,a teenager obsessed with death who drives a hearse and regularly fakes his own death by staging increasingly elaborate suicide attempts..He meets Maude,played by Ruth Gordon,and an unlikely love affair unfolds.This film was on television pretty much weekly when I was young.It’s an emo’s wet dream,as goth as can be…..time for a remake,think of all the pale young teenagers it could inspire.

4.The Tenant (Le Locataire)

Another cinematic one-night-stand,directed by and starring Roman Polanski (not exactly Mr.Popularity right now,but he has made some of my favourite films),it tells the tale of a chap who moves into an apartment recently vacated by a woman who committed suicide by jumping from the apartment window.Gradually he comes to realise that everyone around him is trying to drive him to take his own life in exactly the same way.A great film for the paranoid.


Back when Channel 4 was a proper channel that showed programmes and films that people actually wanted to watch,this Wim Wenders film was on telly every month without fail.Starring Nastassja Kinski (who was a source of much comfort to me in my lonely teenage years) in a fluffy pink jumper,and Harry Dean Stanton as her father who is looking for her,Paris,Texas is another film that has been lost down the TV company sofa.(Also worth a mention is the twangy Ry Cooder soundtrack….you know the one I mean even if you’ve never seen the film)


The original with Laurence Olivier and Michael Caine this film is rarer than rocking horse doings…although throughout the 80s it was the only film the BBC had.


Starring a young Jenny Agutter,the actress single-handedly responsible for the boom in VCR sales during the 80s (but that’s another story),it tells the tale of a schoolgirl and her young brother lost in the Australian outback.Our Jenny “loosens her clothing” (well it’s hot in Oz) quite a lot…this film definitely DOES NOT feature any steam trains.You might think that there is a perfectly logical reason for all this wanton “nuddiness” …when you’re a teenage boy,you don’t need a reason.The BBC clearly needed no justification for showing this every Friday night on BBC 2.

8.The Anniversary

Official legend Bette Davis plays the eye-patch wearing,manipulative matriarch to three sons who come to her house for an annniversary party.One of the sons likes to wear women’s undies,another takes his missus to bed only to discover his mum’s glass eye waiting for them on the pillow.Our Bette is the ultimate bitch….she has to be seen to be believed.

9.The Incredible Melting Man

The title says it all,really.There’s this man……….and he melts.It’s excellent.

10.The Appointment

There are quite a few films with this title…the one I’m thinking of stars the late,great Edward Woodward.Unable to attend his doting daughter’s violin recital due to a business appointment,Ed experiences malevolent forces whilst driving to the meeting,brought into being by his psychic daughter.As you might expect,it ends badly.The boy Woodward never had much luck in films…



Bigmouth Strikes Again!

Posted: July 31, 2009 in Music
Tags: , , , ,

I chuffing love The Smiths.

But I never used to…

I’m like that with bands….I only start liking them 20 years after they’ve split up.

I don’t follow trends…I create them.Every 20 years my clothes come back into fashion.

In my school there was ONE Smiths fan..although “fan” didn’t really sum her up.

She was fekking obsessed…

A quiet,brainy,sensitive sort by nature (perfect Smiths fan),she would only come to life when pressed about her fave subject.She was often to be found comparing Morrissey’s lyrics to Shakespeare.

This would amuse us greatly,because even though we all hated Shakespeare,The Smiths were only a pop band…weren’t they?

Only a certain type of person followed them.

Those quiet,arty,sensitive types who society just didn’t understand…today we would call them Emo.And we would want to kill them…if they hadn’t already done it themselves,of course.

Smiths fans were Emos…but with better taste in music.

Maybe it was because they were so damn miserable. You had to be as miserable as them to be allowed to like them….being a fan was something you had to earn.You got the impression that all Morrissey wanted was to get his leg over,just once would do,he’s gagging for it,bless him.

Poor sod.

My first and most vivid memory of The Smiths was on Top of the Pops when Morrissey performed with a bunch of flowers in his back pocket.Everybody was talking about that the next day.

They were the ultimate indie band…and in my social circle indie,quite simply was a polite term for crap….and I was too busy listening to Duran Duran anyway.

I had a fairly extensive music collection in my tender,disillusioned teenage years.

NOTHING by the Smiths….not even a 7-inch… (stop sniggering at the back)

Until they released “Panic.”

Suddenly I was a fan…and so was everybody else.Cries of “Hang the DJ!” could be heard echoing through the city streets.admittedly it is a great song,but I soon realised I’d missed out on so much.

The classic jugga jugga (proper musical term) of  “How Soon Is Now?”,the despair of “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out”,the how-can-you-call-a song-that shock of “Girlfriend In A Coma” and “Shoplifters of the World Unite.”

“Last Night I Dreamed Somebody Loved Me”…been there,readers…been there.

Now a confession….I did actually turn a bit emo in the early 90s due to my new-found Smiths infatuation.

I even had a Cure record…Disintegration to be exact…and I did have a lot of black clothes…

I am not ashamed.I am no longer emo,but am often miserable as buggery…so I am still a fan.

If you are a lifelong fan,or if you are new to The Smiths,I shall leave you with this…