Posts Tagged ‘Tesco’

Wales,as a country,doesn’t really do summer.

It certainly didn’t bother with it this year,but has decided to have a bit of a go at it this week…just to see what it’s like.

Yes…it’s September and it’s bloody boiling,even at night.

Actually it’s been like this for a few years…totally rubbish July and August then lovely weather in September.

Even I cannot resist the heat any longer…I am wearing shorts.

Yes…you have every right to be scared,for I have British legs…white as snow and what’s even worse,only slightly hairy so you can see all my pimples.As my mother said today in Tesco….”I need a bit of gravy browning on those legs.”

‘Tis true.

Although,if Tesco’s customers are anything to go by,I need not worry….let’s just say that some people most definitely shouldn’t wear shorts,or even appear in public in hot weather.Simple as that.

It’s gratifying that my legs aren’t as bad as some.

Anyhoo…today’s trip to Tesco-hell had an extra added ingredient…my Uncle wanted to buy a digital telly!!!

Now,my uncle is not what you’d call an impulsive buyer.He likes to “shop around”…and indeed had already done so before we entered Currys.He had a list of TV’s he’d seen in other shops,subdivided by price,screen size,value for money etc……buying a telly is a serious business for my uncle.

I did suggest doing a bit of “comparethemarket” online,but as the telly he wanted was Matsui,and only available in Currys,this was not an option.Online is the first place I go when I want to buy something,but my mother and uncle (brother & sister) can come up with a dozen reasons why online shopping is more expensive and dangerous and you wouldn’t believe what else….it makes you pregnant as well,probably.

We had a look at the tellies in Currys,then went to Tesco…on the way out of Currys,a staff member asked my uncle if he needed any help,as they do,and he said “I’ve seen the one I want,now I’m going to see if I can get it cheaper somewhere else.”

Would you have the balls to say that? I probably wouldn’t.Anyway it turned out he couldn’t get it cheaper anywhere else,so we went back to Currys after the Hell-shop and he finally bought the bloody television.

Now all he has to do is work the blooming thing.

I dread the day he wants to buy a computer.

The Tesco mission was mercifully horror-free,probably because of the weather…slightest bit of sun and the whole town goes down the beach.The Uncle doesn’t just limit his shopping savvy to electrical goods though…you know the bit on the shelf tickets that tell you how much,say,each toilet roll is in a pack of 12 or whatever…he reads those,then does a bit of mental calculation,compares the other brands for value for money,says things like,”well if I got that one,it’s still not as good as if I got 2 of the ones on special offer,because I’d have more for the same price as that one at twice the price etc etc .”

The Mother Unit is exactly the same….I go through this every week….and you know what supermarkets are like,they do BOGOFs like mad to get you to buy things you wouldn’t normally buy.

And if there is an item for sale with a wrong ticket,if something has been increased in price but the ticket shows the lower price,then my mother and uncle will find it….Tesco is as big as an airport,yet they can zero in on them with radar-like precision.

Is that all they can do?

Of course not….they have skills.

If there is a person at one of the checkouts who has bought something that has a problem with it,or they are causing a delay for some reason,my mother will find them..not just in Tesco,but in every bloody shop.Many is the time she’s told me “oh I was in Boots (or wherever) the other day and there was this woman in front of me making a fuss about something she had bought and there was something wrong with it etc etc.”

My mother is a magnet for trouble……she can find people making scenes in shops from 5 miles away.

Myself,I tend to avoid such things if I can…I like to watch the proceedings from a distance,but the mother likes to get in the thick of it.

But overall,it was a good day…I didn’t have to ram anyone out of the way.This could be a new beginning in my relationship with Tesco….the anticipation is almost too much to bear.

I can’t wait for next Sunday…

funny-dog-pictures-but-this-is-his-happy-faceIn the immortal words of Chris Tarrant,before he went rubbish…

TODAY IS SUNDAY,WAKE AND SCREAM.

Or it was something like that anyway.

More of that in a minute.

My lovely regular readers (wonderful peeps,all) will have noticed that recently I have been indulging my own creative whims rather a lot in this blog,to the detriment of more serious scribblings.

The truth is that I am a frustrated writer….frustrated in many ways really but especially as a writer.So I’ve decided to use this blog as a sort of test-bed to see if I can string more than a couple of sentences of fiction together and make a half-decent story.They say everyone has at least one novel in them and I want to see if I can discover mine among the cobwebs of my mind.

But this doesn’t mean that I will be giving up talking about myself and my life (does that sound self-centered?) completely.Indeed,as I read blogs by other people,I quickly realise that maybe I am not being serious enough.

I wouldn’t want my blog to become too frivolous.

I think I will just go with the flow…see how the fancy takes me.

So it is fitting that I am writing this on the most serious day of the week—the dreaded Sunday.

And my regulars will know what Sunday means…the Tesco trip.

I really must introduce the Mother Unit to the joys of online shopping.

I simply cannot hack that supermarket any longer…you’d think that one building couldn’t contain so many idiots.I wonder what it’s like to work there? The checkout chappies always seem quite happy…it’s just the punters who are on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Although I must admit today’s trip was quite quick and easy…with sadly nothing to report.

Bugger.

And as if having a nice shopping trip wasn’t bad enough…I forgot Cup-A-Soups as well…AND the savoury rice was no longer on special offer.

Double bugger.

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My mother bought a new tellybox with freeview to replace the soon-to-be defunct one in the front room.2791297547_273aaefd2d

This involved a trip to Comet…not one of my favourite shops either.

We were quite happily perusing the TVs,weighing up the pros and cons,as you do..when we were suddenly accosted by an eager member of staff asking if we needed any help.

We said no….he hovered expectantly.

A few minutes later we DID need help….turn to look for the helpful staff chappy…

Yes,you’ve guessed it….he’s buggered off.

How do they do that? Are they all psychic….they know when you need help so that’s their cue to go and have a fag out the back?

Must be trained.

Also there was a fridge/freezer for sale which my uncle claimed could comfortably hold two bodies….he works for a funeral director so he’d know…it was one of those big American types with two doors.

All I’ve got in my fridge is milk and a packet of ham.

I have a bachelor’s fridge.

Hmmm..I’ve written nearly 500 words on bugger all….not bad.I’ll put it in the random drawer.

Time for a cuppa and a few custard creams which I did NOT forget to buy.

Until next time….Abyssinia!