Posts Tagged ‘Tom Baker’

…I love it.

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After my heartfelt plea for information on the whereabouts of the previously famous David Tennant,currently residing in the Where-Are-They-Now-File,I was inundated with information from the caring public.

The appeal became the subject of two very interesting forums…sadly their information did not lead to the location of Mr.Tennant.
But it made me laugh.
Also,I got supermassive traffic to my blog…which is all that matters.
Because…

I LOVE PISSING PEOPLE OFF.

FECKING LOVE IT.

SEEING THE EFFORT THESE “PEOPLE” WENT TO SLAGGING ME OFF MAKES ME THROB IN VERY INTERESTING PLACES.

In return for them linking to my blog from their “website”,I have included links to their sites over there on the right….under the non-judgemental heading My Lovely Haters-(like Father Ted’s My Lovely Horse,but not as funny) so you,Constant Reader, can see for yourself the high level of abuse and hate which I completely adore on a daily basis.

Haters….you gotta love ’em-because they don’t love themselves.

And now,for the benefit of the Forum Fails, a photo of the best Doctor Who ever—try and learn something.

GOD

I couldn't find a photo of Tom Baker...so here's a pic of his son

Yes….I know what you’re thinking….

“Didn’t he blog that he had forgiven Tennant for his sins in the light of the new boy looking totally awful?”

Well I did…but I hadn’t seen the latest “Special” when I wrote that.

Shown last Sunday,The Waters Of Mars (or The Impossible Planet,or 42,or any episode from the last few seasons,it doesn’t matter which one you choose because they all have the same plot) was co-written by Russell T. Davies…and you could tell–55 minutes of overacting/running around aimlessly/rubbish jokes/gurning and a quite interesting 5 minutes at the end.

But by then it’s too bloody late,Russell….and isn’t it about time you collected your P45?

And why didn’t she shoot Tennant in the back….that’s what I would have done…but enough of my fantasies…

And why,once again,were the monsters utterly rubbish?  Fecking embarrassing….though it was nice to see Trina from Eastenders alive and well…so to speak…

And why is The Master in the bloody Christmas episode…..and still played by John Simm?

And why is it going to be 2 bloody hours long?

And why is Tennant outstaying his welcome?

And why does he even exist?

What people don’t seem to understand is that I don’t hate David Tennant,the person….I am a lifelong Who fan,and speak from that perspective.Therefore,I refuse to sit idly by while MY programme is totally ruined.One of Tennant’s biggest faults is that he’s playing a part….the best Doctors played themselves-Hartnell,Pertwee,Tom Baker (Tom IS really like that).Doctor Who is not a role you should “act”…you either “are” The Doctor or you’re not. You have to BE The Doctor.

Tennant doesn’t even use his real accent-’nuff said.

Ah,I hear you scream,the show now has many more fans than it did in the old days…

I’ll admit it has more fans,yes….but not the right kind.

Quite frankly—–these “fans” don’t deserve to be “fans”.

YOU DON’T DESERVE DOCTOR WHO.

Where were you when it was axed?

Did you queue up at HMV at midnight to buy the video of the Doctor Who TV movie starring Paul McGann as the totally excellent Eighth Doctor?

Did you queue for 3 hours to get Peter Davison’s autograph at Longleat in 1983 at the 20 years of Doctor Who Celebration (the Woodstock of Who)?

Do you have a complete collection of The New Adventures?

So you think you’re a Doctor Who fan because you’ve got a DVD boxset…..

Tell me then…who are Faction Paradox? What is Compassion? What’s the date of the Dalek Invasion of Earth? What’s the Zero Room? In which story is the sonic screwdriver introduced? What’s the Eye Of Harmony?

Have you heard of these companions—Bernice Summerfield,Anji Kapoor,Chris Cwej,Charlotte Pollard,Erimem,Fey Truscott-Sade?

Did you know that First Doctor companion,Dodo,leaves the TARDIS after contracting a sexually transmitted alien disease,or that one of the bodies that the Second Doctor is offered as his new incarnation at his trial is the face of the dictator in the parallel universe in the story Inferno? Or that in Alien Bodies,several races of aliens turn up at an auction to bid on the Doctor’s corpse?

Have you read these books-Transit,Love And War,Nightshade,The Infinity Doctors,Casualties Of War,Interference?

To paraphrase Michael Caine in Get Carter-

“You’re a Doctor Who fan,but you’re knowledge is in bad shape—for me,it’s a full-time job—now behave yourselves.”

I would like to write a Doctor Who episode. (a childhood dream,actually)

It will not be a “scary” story…because if people think that Blink is “scary” then they have no idea what true horror is,and my efforts will be wasted.

No,I shall not scare the little kids (the only ones,along with the true fans,who will still be watching now that the ladies’ favourite has left—just wait for the ratings drop).

Instead,I shall mess with their heads.

I’ll have the so-called “fans” doubting their very sanity…I’ll show them what Doctor Who means—I’ll shove it right down their bloody throats.

I know stuff about Doctor Who that would make your teeth curl,but because the show has been dumbed down and turned into Hollyoaks,the production team don’t want to take any risks,so we won’t get any truly original and creative stories ever again.

Expect more “surprise” appearances by Billie Piper and the Daleks and Russell’s Carnival of Crap Monsters.That’s why they keep bringing the Daleks and the Master and the Shit Cybermen back-because the new monsters are rubbish.

It’s all about the merchandise….all about the BBC making money.

Hmm….got a little ranty there.

I’ve decided I won’t be doing any more Tennant-bashing….I’ll just stick a pin in my Tenth Doctor action figure from time to time.

I shall leave you to your Xmas “special” with it’s half-formed ideas,lame running gags,overacting,gurning and a third-rate actor jumping around like a twat .

TTFN 🙂

P.S Bring on Matt Smith!!!