Posts Tagged ‘Michael Jackson’

Elvis Presley's new flatmate

Elvis Presley's new flatmate

It’s the 9/11 of pop….these are some of the conspiracies theories surrounding the “death” of Michael Jackson-

HE FAKED HIS DEATH

As is well known,he was £200 million in debt and realised he would be worth much more dead than alive.By faking his own demise,he could enjoy the the royalties from the inevitable boom in sales of his music.Meanwhile,he shacks up with Elvis in his underground complex deep within wherever.

HE WAS DEAD ALREADY

Jacko’s been dead for years….this became obvious to many after his “appearance” in London to promote his tour-this was in fact an unconvincing double who was too tall and walked funny.Was he too ill to turn up or had he been found dead at Neverland 2 years ago and been played by doubles ever since.?

MURDERED BY IRANIAN SECRET POLICE

President Ahmadinejad had him killed in order to shift global attention away from his over-enthusiastic clampdown on post-election unrest. (Has he even heard of Michael Jackson?)

ASSASSINATED BY OBAMA

President Obama had him bumped off,either because Jackson refused to perform at his inauguration,or to distract media attention away from his inability to intervene in Iran and North Korea.

CAP & TRADE CONSPIRACY

The US congress had him murdered to sneak through a controversial law restricting greenhouse emissions.The old “good day to bury bad news” ploy obviously worked because the vote went ahead when the whole world was still gobsmacked at Jacko’s pegging off.

And did you know that the letters “M” and “J”,when typed in the Wingdings 2 font,produce a black hand and a white glove?

Of course you did.

Next post-Britain’s Best Churches by Richard Dawkins.

Advertisements